A certain privately owned entertainment company specializing in event and online streamed content production (mostly surfing sport) announced today the cast of beautiful surfers who will “battle it out at [the] state-of-the-art Surf Ranch in Lemoore, California” as part of the new ABC reality competition show called The Ultimate Surfer.
The cast is described as the “world’s greatest up-and-coming surfers” however one look at the list suggests producers may be wading knee deep into hyperbole bay. The crew includes: Anastasia Ashley – 34, Miami Beach, Florida, Kai Barger – 31, Haiku, Hawaii, Mason Barnes – 27, Venice, California, Tia Blanco – 24, Oceanside, California, Austin Clouse – 27, Jacksonville Beach, Florida, Brianna Cope – 26, Koloa, Hawaii, Luke Davis – 28, Los Angeles, California, Kayla Durden – 28, Jacksonville Beach, Florida, Juli Hernandez – 23, Costa Mesa, California, Zeke Lau – 27, Honolulu, Hawaii, Alejandro Moreda – 35, San Juan, Puerto Rico, Koa Smith – 26, Sunset Beach, Hawaii, Malia Ward – 23, San Clemente, California, Bruna Zaun – 31, Redondo Beach, California.
Are they Insta hot? Yes. Do they surf well? Sure. Will they be entertaining to watch? Maybe. Will the show end up some awkward mix of the worst reality TV tropes and surf cliche? Chances seem pretty good. But yeah, we’ll probably watch it anyway.