Skateboarding

For the new Vice Magazine Fiction Issue it appears that etnies and Dave Carnie’s Whale Cock Skateboards have created a “fictional” collab shoe made out of the softest material on earth: “the skin of a baby whale’s virgin penis.”

Aristotle Onasis covered the barstools on his yacht with whale cock foreskin. Everyone who sat in them thought they were the softest barstools they had ever sat upon. Can you imagine, then, how supple the skin of a baby whale’s virgin penis must feel?. . . So, etnies and Whale Cock have contracted a number of Japanese whaling fleets (equipped with offshore abortion clinics) to acquire only the finest and most pregnant whales in the ocean. The Japanese abortion doctors carefully extricate the baby whales from the monther’s vaginas, and harvest their tiny baby penises. . . it requires at least 19 baby whale penises to make each show, but it’s the softest, most comfortable skateboard shoe you will ever wear. . .

Looks like this bit of fiction went all the way. Makes us wonder what the seats in the Sea Shepard’s Ady Gil were covered with?

[Link: Empire Ave]

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In November 2009, when Watcom County Washington resident Joe King purchased 25 acres of land in Glacier, Washington formerly owned by Crown Pacific Partners Lumber Company he had no idea the land also included the Coal Creek DIY skateboard park, according to the Foothills Gazette.

When Whatcom County resident Joe King became the new owner of the land on Nov. 20, he said he was aware the property came with coal pads, but had no idea a skate park was included. After a visit to the planning department on an unrelated matter, King said he was informed of the park and the fact it is out of compliance with Whatcom County code. He declined to elaborate about the property. . . According to Senior Planner Suzanne Bosman, of Whatcom County Planning and Development, the department was unaware of the park’s existence until a fire inspector visiting Glacier went up Coal Creek Road to turn around and then saw the structures.

Now park organizer Jeremy Miller and King are working together to see what they can do before the 30-day window for code violations closes.

[Link: Foothills Gazette via The Skateboard Mag]

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In a recent post to her McSweeney’s column Dispatches From The Capital Holly Jones investigates the scene at Washington, D.C.’s 9th Street Fight Club and finds a cool place to hangout and watch people skate.

Nights can go late at the 9th Street Fight Club. Skaters ride the bowl, talk around the fire and drink or smoke until they can’t stay awake any longer. Sometimes. The ones living upstairs pay rent and hold jobs. They don’t always stay up that late.

Sounds good to us. . . check out some good writing about skateboarding,

[Link: McSweeney’s via We Love DC]

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