For the new Vice Magazine Fiction Issue it appears that etnies and Dave Carnie’s Whale Cock Skateboards have created a “fictional” collab shoe made out of the softest material on earth: “the skin of a baby whale’s virgin penis.”
Aristotle Onasis covered the barstools on his yacht with whale cock foreskin. Everyone who sat in them thought they were the softest barstools they had ever sat upon. Can you imagine, then, how supple the skin of a baby whale’s virgin penis must feel?. . . So, etnies and Whale Cock have contracted a number of Japanese whaling fleets (equipped with offshore abortion clinics) to acquire only the finest and most pregnant whales in the ocean. The Japanese abortion doctors carefully extricate the baby whales from the monther’s vaginas, and harvest their tiny baby penises. . . it requires at least 19 baby whale penises to make each show, but it’s the softest, most comfortable skateboard shoe you will ever wear. . .
Looks like this bit of fiction went all the way. Makes us wonder what the seats in the Sea Shepard’s Ady Gil were covered with?
[Link: Empire Ave]
ok so i read this add on VICE but im now im confused….r they really making these shoes???
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