![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.boardistan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/new_product-450x251.jpg\")
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Today we\u2019re highlighting an amazingly bland new product you don\u2019t need, from a company we don\u2019t like because, well, we got a press release from said company and putting up a press release is far easier than creating original content especially when all we\u2019re interested in doing is fooling Google Ads into thinking we\u2019re still posting content on this site so our rankings will continue to soar. <\/span><\/p>\n This banal new product is of course made in China and features several prominently placed logos from the company\u2014 both on the front, the back, the top, and the sides. In fact, this product features nine logos (if you count the one on the label). By moving this product around in the physical world you are acting as a sign spinner for this private equity funded zombie brand. You\u2019re adding your youth, energy, and all around sexiness to their brand by being associated with it. Only difference is the sign spinner is getting paid $25 a hour and you\u2019re getting nothing, aside from the pride you feel from sporting a logo that says you paid way more than you should have for this Bangladesh made product. Wait, did we say China before\u2026 sorry, same difference. <\/span><\/p>\n We\u2019d highlight several of the features that set this product apart from all the other products available to you in this category and encourage you to purchase it, however, there\u2019s nothing about this product that makes it standout from a similar product that can be purchased much more economically at one of the big box retailers. <\/span><\/p>\n That said, this product is being promoted as part of a \u201climited edition\u201d collection which means you’ll be forced to visit one of the brand’s mall-based \u201cflagship stores\u201d or order it online directly from the brand because they don\u2019t want to drop this product in the same massive chain stores where they dump the rest of their product because they\u2019re charging more for this and that means they want you to have to work even harder to find it. As a value add this means you\u2019ll have a product that your lazier, more thrifty friends won\u2019t. And that makes you a big winner. <\/span><\/p>\n For more information on this product please visit the brand\u2019s website where you can get the \u201cproduct narrative\u201d directly from their poorly paid marketing wizards. We’re guessing they’ll offer free shipping and returns so what have you got to lose? Shop, buy, consume. Repeat.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Today we\u2019re highlighting an amazingly bland new product you don\u2019t need, from a company we don\u2019t like because, well, we got a press release from said company and putting up a press release is far easier than creating original content especially when all we\u2019re interested in doing is fooling Google Ads into thinking we\u2019re still […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,14,3,4,6],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.boardistan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53947"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.boardistan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.boardistan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.boardistan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.boardistan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=53947"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/www.boardistan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53947\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":53968,"href":"http:\/\/www.boardistan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53947\/revisions\/53968"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.boardistan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=53947"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.boardistan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=53947"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.boardistan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=53947"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}